You’re Not Stuck—You’re Just Repeating What You Haven’t Healed

The work begins when you stop treating symptoms and start listening to your Inner Child

Ever feel like you’re living on repeat?

Same arguments. Same relationship disappointments. Same overwhelming feelings of not being “enough,” no matter how hard you try.

You’re not imagining it. These patterns are real—and they’re trying to tell you something.

Before anything can change, you need to understand the why behind it all.

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Step One: Understand How You Got Here

Personal growth starts with gaining insight—not just quick fixes.

You wouldn’t try to fix a broken car without knowing what’s under the hood. The same goes for your emotional life.

To truly change, you need to understand:

• What’s happening inside you right now

• Where it came from

• What keeps the cycle going

• What lasting emotional health actually looks like

Most of us never learned how to do this. We were taught to focus on what’s happening outside of us—our jobs, partners, routines—not what’s happening inside.

So let’s go there. Because that’s where change really starts.

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Treating Symptoms Won’t Fix the Cause

When something hurts emotionally, we reach for fast relief:

• Diets when we feel out of control

• Self-esteem exercises when we feel worthless

• Communication tips when relationships get rocky

But here’s the truth: those are band-aids. Helpful, yes—but temporary.

They treat the symptom, not the cause.

It’s like taking Advil for a headache caused by dehydration. The pain might fade for a bit—but it always comes back.

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The Real Cause: A Part of You Still Feels Unseen

Here’s the core idea:
You’re not one self. You’re two.

You have:

• Your Adult Self – the version of you who manages daily life.

• Your Inner Child – the younger part of you, usually frozen in time around age 7, still holding onto early emotional experiences and unmet needs.

If you’ve never tried this before, go find a photo of yourself at that age. Look at it for a few moments.
👉 What comes up?
👉 What memories or emotions stir?

This is the part of you that still doubts, still hurts, still fears rejection—and still longs to feel good enough.

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Why the Same Struggles Keep Coming Back

Your Inner Child is behind many of your adult struggles. Not because it wants to sabotage you, but because it’s still trying to get its needs met.

Here’s what that can look like:

• If you never felt good enough as a child, you may chase validation from partners, bosses, or friends.

• If you were ignored or misunderstood, you may attract people who make you feel that same way.

• If you were criticized a lot, you may live with a loud inner critic that keeps you stuck.

Until you connect with that younger part of you, it will continue to drive your choices—even the ones that hurt you.

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Blake’s Story

Blake kept dating people who made him feel like he didn’t matter.

At first, the relationships felt exciting—there was chemistry, intensity, even obsession. But after a few months, the same cycle would repeat: they’d grow distant, he’d feel invisible, and then he’d work overtime trying to win them back.

During therapy, we explored what came up emotionally during those moments of being ignored. Using a feelings chart, he pinpointed it: “I feel abandoned. Forgotten. Small.”

When I asked him when he had felt that before, he didn’t even need a second: “Every time my dad got silent and disappeared into his work.”

That moment cracked something open. Blake realized he wasn’t just dating people who didn’t text back—he was reliving childhood wounds, trying to finally “get it right.”

Once he began recognizing those emotional patterns and tuning into his Inner Child’s need for love and security, everything changed. He stopped trying to earn affection and started learning to offer himself the love he’d been chasing in others.

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What Healing Actually Looks Like

The solution isn’t to demand more from others.

It’s to turn inward and finally meet the needs your Inner Child has been carrying for years.

This is where true healing begins.

It sounds like this:

• “I see you. I know you’re scared.”

• “You are good enough—even when no one else says it.”

• “You don’t have to keep proving yourself. I’ve got you now.”

You begin to reparent yourself—to form a relationship between your Adult Self and your Inner Child that’s built on love, compassion, and presence.

That’s when you stop needing others to fill the hole inside you.
That’s when the cycles start to break.
That’s when your outside world starts to change—because your inner world already has.

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Final Thoughts: You’re the One You’ve Been Waiting For

If you’ve ever asked:

• “Why do I keep ending up in the same type of relationship?”

• “Why do I feel triggered by the smallest things?”

• “Why can’t I just feel okay?”

This is your starting point. Your Inner Child doesn’t need perfection. She needs you.

No one else can do this work for you. But the beautiful part is—you don’t need anyone else to start.

You are the one you've been waiting for.

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Your Turn: Start the Work

🔥 Grab a childhood photo. Sit with it. What comes up?
Hit reply or comment here and let me know what you noticed—I read every message.

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