Facing Life’s Hardest Challenges: Why You’re Stronger Than You Think
Life is incredibly intense sometimes. The struggles you’re going through feel overwhelming, and the heartbreak cuts deep. I want you to know something important: you are stronger than you realize. Every challenge you face, no matter how impossible it seems, is one you can handle. That’s not just some comforting phrase — it’s a spiritual truth I’ve come to see clearly over years of healing work and life experience.
I’ve witnessed clients and friends endure what seems unbearable. When I hear their stories, I’m in awe of their strength. Sometimes, I’m honest with myself and think, I’m not sure I could get through that. And yet here they are — standing, breathing, surviving. You are that person too. You can handle this.
The Pain of Growing Up Alone
Many of us grew up emotionally isolated. Maybe your parents cared but were emotionally damaged. They wanted to be there but didn’t know how to meet your needs. Maybe they tried, but something was always missing. I know this personally — as a sensitive kid, I was always watching, always taking care of others’ feelings, always trying to be strong, trying to please, just to feel okay. But deep down, I never quite felt like I was enough.
You might relate to this feeling. Maybe you learned early on that you couldn’t fully rely on the people who were supposed to protect you. That feeling of being emotionally alone — even if you had food, shelter, or material care — leaves scars. It shapes how you relate to yourself and others, often without you even realizing it.
Addiction, Avoidance, and the Struggle to Face Reality
Avoidance is the most common way we try to survive emotional pain. Sometimes it shows up as addiction — to substances, behaviors, or even people-pleasing. Sometimes it’s blaming others or projecting anger onto them. It’s all a way to keep the pain at bay. I’ve seen this in my own life and in the lives of people I’ve worked with. The harder the avoidance, the louder the inner child’s cry for connection.
But healing begins when you stop running. When you choose to face what you’ve been avoiding. It’s terrifying at first. That’s normal. You don’t have to dive in all at once. Start small. Feel a little bit of the pain. Sit with it. Name the feelings. A tool I often use is a feelings chart, just to help find the words that connect you to what’s really going on inside.
When you start naming your feelings, something shifts. You’re no longer disconnected. You’re listening to that part of yourself that’s been desperate to talk, to be seen, and to heal.
The Power of Connection and Safe Spaces
Healing also happens in community, places where you feel safe and accepted. The community here in Substack and group like 12-step programs offer that for many people. Just walking into a space or room where you don’t have to pretend, where you’re met with acceptance, can be life-changing. It’s a reminder that you’re not alone. That connection opens the door to deeper healing.
Life’s Normal Path: No Mistakes, Just Lessons
A powerful shift I’ve embraced is seeing life’s challenges as normal. There are no mistakes, only experiences. Lessons we learn through what works and what doesn’t. If you grew up feeling like a mistake meant you were worthless, that’s a limiting belief to be unlearned. The truth is, you’re learning every day. Growing wiser, stronger, more capable.
I want you to know, if you’re struggling with self-doubt or feeling stuck, it’s okay. Healing isn’t about perfection or having it all figured out. It’s about being willing to show up, again and again, for yourself.
My Story: The Fork in the Road
In college, so many things stopped working and making sense. What used to work no longer did. Something else was running the world, and I began to pursue it. That pursuit led to a spiritual awakening and an embrace of my own heritage. But it put me at odds with everyone in my life: family, friends, the familiar world I knew.
It was a fork in the road. I was on a different path. While I could still see the other side and the people on it, the gap between us grew wider. The pushback was fierce. I was attacked for being different, challenged at every turn. It felt unbearable.
And yet, I moved through it. Looking back, I see that not only could I handle it, but I also grew massively from it. I wanted confidence, trust in myself, validation, and commitment. Life didn’t hand those to me gift-wrapped. Instead, it gave me moments—sometimes excruciating—that were opportunities to grow and claim those things.
Each moment, unbearable in the moment, was part of transforming me into the person I wanted to be, needed to be, and hoped to become.
If you want to talk more about facing your own challenges, understanding your feelings, or building a better relationship with yourself, message me anytime. I’m here to listen and support you on your journey.
—Zalman
